Gnothi Seauton

Gnothi Seauton
– Know Thyself.

All this time… I always tried to find out more about me. I expanded my knowledge without knowing why I wanted to… or how important it is in discovering things about me.

Often times… I would question myself, on the the times when I was stepped at… or just simply downgraded, why didn’t I fight back? why I held back? Even though I knew that I was right… why didn’t I fight for myself? for my pride? for my beliefs and for the grounds that I stand on?

I finally know why.

It’s because I know that if I fight back… I would know the right painful cruel words. If I fought back, I know for sure… I can really hurt someone. Not physically… but in the worse cruel way… which is verbally. I know that I can be evil… and when I’m evil… I’m just downright evil.

But… my heart… had always been pure… and innocent… therefore stopping me from hurting someone… no matter how pissed I get.

It’s a curse to be evil in mind but pure in heart.
Cause the emotions get bottled up and there are times where you almost can’t breathe…

And it’s all harder for me, a girl who always has to be happy…
I hope someday… I can hear someone tell me what Sung-hee told Gyu-ri when Gyu-ri said she had to smile no matter what.

“You don’t have to forcefully smile…”

My Scene-stealing Bangs

So last last Friday, I was sitting with my friend, Mo-chan, waiting for the stupid school bell to ring and announce the beginning of semestral break.

When we were discussing how much I wanted to change my hairstyle, I came uot with the funky idea of getting full bangs just like Han Seung-yeon and Kim Sung-hee of KARA. So right after I arrived at the house, I bugged the maid to schedule an appointment with my hairstylist on that very day. xD

So he came, and cut my fringes. (I specifically asked him to maintain my hair’s current length.) But then, I believed that he got to ’scissor happy’ therefore making my fringes shorter than I expected. You’ve got to see my reaction that time. I was like pouting and gaping at the mirror-wishing that I just didn’t get this haircut. Well, I’ve got not choice but to deal with it.

Bad luck really strikes so bad, because the next day I had to go on a vacation with my relatives–featuring my super ugly fringes. You know how it is in the family, where you try to impress your other family members. Well–with these ugly fringes, I didn’t even try anymore.

Not until yesterday, I styled my fringes and ironed it straight. I looked at the mirror and smiled. “Wow… not so bad.” Then with that style, I went to school.

My classmates were gaping at me, some were teasing me (w/c is kind of complimentary) that I looked too Chinese therefore shouting “San Chai” and “Dao Ming Xu” at me. -o- My math teacher found it so cute she let me lead the prayer and kept holding it. -o- Generally… the reply that I got was “Awww— sooo cute!!!”.

Argh– I’m already conceited. And now this?? xD